Christmas 2009

It's been a year of upheaval obviously, but Christmas 2009 finds me in a thankful mood and counting my blessings. The following picture says it all:



There are a number of small problems that remain, but hey, the picture says it all.

Hearing in my left ear is now back down to 10% compared to my right side on the "self-perception scale." Before surgery, I put it at 10% and after surgery had it up to 40%, then after gamma knife I put it at 10% again. This is to be expected. As the tumor begins to "die" from having been shot by the gamma ray gun, it will first bloat or swell up. (Imagine a goon who has been beaten up by Fernando Poe Jr., before the goon dies he will be in the ICU all swollen up right?) So there is indeed the possibility that there will be a worsening of the acoustic neuroma symptoms for about six months. When we're out around people these days Kathy stays on my left side and slaps me on the arm when someone has spoken to me and it's obvious that I'm unaware. (Of course there are times when I've chosen to be unaware.) Small problems like this, mini-handicaps I call them.

The balance issues are back with a vengeance. "Dizziness" is not the correct term, since I feel perfectly normal when I'm sitting down. Driving is not even a problem. But when I walk, I find myself veering off to one side much like a drunk person, and I have to constantly catch myself and pull myself back. There's also the tendency to "tip over" when I put my weight on one leg, like when I'm putting my pants on. So I'm constantly making small adjustments and righting myself.

My saliva seems to taste "sour" and nothing tastes the same. Not even the roast goose we received as a present last week. Some minor nausea and "queasiness" has returned.

My head starts to ache the moment I lie down and hurts progressively more (imagine trying to get to sleep at night). I am not able to stay asleep for more than 3-4 hours because the pain wakes me up. After I wake up, it really feels like I have a bunch of elves playing drums inside my head. Strangely enough the pain disappears some time after I stand up, so at least it is not debilitating during the day.

Most, if not all of these are "common" symptoms of untreated acoustic neuroma. And like I said, it all makes sense because my tumor is now getting larger and behaving like an untreated AN. The important difference is that it is getting larger in the process of dying; and not because it is alive and well. Therefore, all these should disappear over the next six months.

A joyous Christmas to one and all. I have good days and bad days; but the picture says it all..