I was told that I would be back to normal the very next day, but the past three days have been very difficult. I am not saying that I was misled, but for some reason or another, my recovery has been much more uncomfortable than "normal".
I remember a story I read when I was a young boy. I cannot even remember the title now, but it was about spies and espionage, and the one thing I do remember was a part where they were talking about drugs used to break down captured spies and agents. The way one drug was described: "after it is injected, you will want to stand up when you are sitting down and you will want to sit down when you are standing up." That, is exactly how I have been feeling the past three days. Exactly.
First, there was terrible nausea and indigestion. My reasonable assessment is that this was probably not caused entirely by the gamma knife. The attack of indigestion was probably triggered by the fact that I had to fast for the procedure and had gone with neither food nor water from 10pm Tuesday night to 2pm Wednesday afternoon. I have a poor gastro-intestinal constitution (a confluence of hyperacidity and an easily-stressed disposition) and doctors cannot seem to decide if I have GERD or peptic ulcers but anyway this so belongs in another blog entirely. :-) Some additional nausea from the gamma knife simply added fuel to the fire.
By today, Saturday, the nausea was better but my head throbbed the whole day, especially near my surgical wound where the fourth screw was inserted. I think it's the bone in that area turning arthritic. At least that's what I hope it is. I don't what to think of the other possibilities.
Well, hopefully tomorrow I'll feel even better. Is the tumor dead now? Well, we're pretty sure it's not. But it's supposed to be dying, and we'll get some indications within 6 months and know for sure after a year.
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I'm in awe as to how generous you've been in posting to this blog. I'm sure that if I felt nauseous, I would not bother to tell anyone how I felt, much less compose my thoughts in publishable prose. This whole process humbled me into realizing that you're a much better person than I am. Although this journey is about you, I often find myself selfishly wanting to obtain real-time updates to ease my own worries. This blog has been a generous gift from you, the pateint, to all of us who truly care deeply about you. Thank you very much for being so kind. You have a very big heart. I believe and trust with all my heart that your treatment will be very successful and that your recovery will be smooth, all things considered.
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